Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why did I wear no jeans today?

my supply was short.

How are you today?

Me: Tim.

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What should i do now?

to which the boss replies "We're out of shovels. Go lean on something else !"

Why are u home so early?

Hubby : "My boss said go to hell!"

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

How do you make a dumb person curious?

I'll tell you tomorrow...

What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?

Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !