Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

What's not 50% off today?

Health insurance

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What's wrong with them?

his boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."

Why are u home so early?

Hubby : "My boss said go to hell!"

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

How to make an idiot curious?

I'll post the answer tomorrow.

What do you say to a lady that has to make 100 shirts by tomorrow?

you seamstressed

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?

Wait until he's finished.