When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him?

I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when Mexico is playing in the World Cup?

Literally all gardening stops

How does a blind parachutist know when to pull his rip-chord?

The leash goes slack...

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do they tell Soviet children who want to achieve their dreams?

Shoot for the Tsars.

How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow-worm?

He has a flashing light.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How can you ask a Mexican if their zodiac sign is leo?

Julio

What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namast (nah-ima-stay)

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What did the stressed-out casino worker say to their boss?

I literally cannot deal.

Who else is watching and laughing their a$$ off?

Turns out Martha Stewart is a boss

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why should we hire you?

Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison.

Why did Taco Bell hire Eminem?

Because he's a Wrap God

Stupid People Jokes More Stupid People Jokes

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him?

I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......

Why is there a show called "When Animals Attack"?

It should be called "When Stupid People Go Near Dangerous Animals."