Who did the philosophy major ask out for the Halloween dance?

Nobody. He was too 'Freud.

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How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

What does a quantum physicist tell their toddler who keeps asking "Why" over and over?

Because I saw so."

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What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy?

Lots a candy.

What does a guy with no friends be for Halloween?

Depressed

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What did the humanistic psychologist say at Freud's funeral?

He died at such a Jung age.

Why did Freud hurt his shoulder?

He made a Freudian slip

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What does the Philosophy major say a year after he graduates?

Would you like fries with that "

Who did the philosophy major ask out for the Halloween dance?

Nobody. He was too 'Freud.