Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

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Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What does a limo driver and a hairy stripper have in common?

They both get paid to chauffeur. (show fur)

How do you pay for incense?

In cents

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What do Christmas trees and The Pope have in common?

A: Their balls are for decoration only

Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween?

Because Dec 25 = Oct 31

Holiday Jokes More Holiday Jokes

What is the most said band name during the holidays?

U2

What is a rednecks favorite pie during the holidays?

Pump-Kin

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

Why doesn't India celebrate halloween?

No Gandhi

What do people in Arkansas do for Halloween?

Pump kin.

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

What's wrong with them?

his boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

Why are you all so excited it's Friday?

Monday will be here in 5 minutes.

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*