How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

Previous Random Joke Next
Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the Invisible Man's mom say after he came out as invisible?

I can't even look at you anymore!"

Why wasn't Michael Jackson allowed to perform at the children's hospital?

Because he is dead. ((I came up with this joke when I was very tired.))

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Why'd you name me Carson, dad?

You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.

Why did the dad say the joke instead of act it out?

Because it was cheesier said than done.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you make a blonde laugh at Easter?

Tell her a joke at Christmas

What did the LGBT art teacher tell the kids to use when their projects needed glue ?

wait for it ... wait for it ...) brucilage !!!!!!!!

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

How did the hour and minute hands of the clock get cancer?

Second hand smoking! My own joke that I've been meaning to put up for a while. Time to see how it goes haha.

Why don't you hear any knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings.

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

What do ghosts dress up as for Halloween?

As John Cena because you can't see them.

What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy?

Lots a candy.

O Jokes More O Jokes

What's the difference between O and Q?

One had to P.

Why is Jay-Z allowed to ride in the carpool lane by himself?

Because his name is Hov, OH, H-to-the-O-V

Neighborhood Jokes More Neighborhood Jokes

What's the difference between a hipster and a fire hose?

It takes more than one hipster to push the black people out of a neighborhood.

What do I look for in a car?

A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through.

Sight Jokes More Sight Jokes

What's the difference between Bigfoot and a Mexican with a beard?

Bigfoot is occasionally sighted

Why do men like love at first sight?

Because he knows it's all over as soon as she opens her mouth.