How do you get a blonde on the roof?

Say the drinks are on the house

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why did the cow drink his own milk?

He needed the cowlcium.

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

House Jokes More House Jokes

What's black, and breaks into houses?

A wrecking ball

What do you call an aging actor who has finally paid off his house?

Mortgage freeman.

Roof Jokes More Roof Jokes

I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...

The sails are going through the roof.

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

17, 1 to hold the lightbulb, 1 to hold the ladder and the other 15 to drink whiskey until the roof spins