Neighborhood Jokes

Why are school shooters more likely to be white people?

White people actually go to school. Black people stay home and shoot people in their own neighborhood.

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How do you know a neighborhood is too ghetto to film in?

If most people leave before shooting starts.

How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood?

The Blacks get car insurance.

What do you call a group of Spanish-speaking moms who band together to protect their neighborhood?

Super Barrio Mothers

Why was the topologist confident about performing a vasectomy?

Because open balls are in his neighborhood

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

What's your favorite adult-themed Halloween joke?

My favorite is: "There's a maniac living in our neighborhood. He goes house-to-house leaving severed body parts on the doorstep. He gives me the willies."

What's the difference between a hipster and a fire hose?

It takes more than one hipster to push the black people out of a neighborhood.

What do tornados and black people have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood

What does a black man and a tornado have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

What do you call the neighborhood where all the poor Italians live?

The spaghetto.

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How are black people similar to tornadoes?

They both only take one to ruin a neighborhood.

What did the hipster say when a starbucks opened in his neighborhood?

You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!"

How can you tell a blonde is being unfaithful?

A: Everybody in the neighborhood is going to the pharmacy for penicillin.

What do black people and a tornado have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

What do a tornado and a black man have in common?

They both can ruin a neighborhood.

What do I look for in a car?

A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through.

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Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

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Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?

A: A blonde tried to shoot herself!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

Crude Oil.

Who was that at the door?

Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy. Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off. "

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What paper product speaks really quickly?

Wrapping paper.

Why does light travel faster than sound?

Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Spaghetto Jokes More Spaghetto Jokes

What do you call poor pasta?

Spaghetto.

What do you call a poor Italian community?

a spaghetto.

Pasta Jokes More Pasta Jokes

What do you call pasta that someone chokes on?

Ralveoli.

What do you call an atheist who no longer worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

A-pasta-ate.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How many black people do you need to start a riot?

Negative 1.

What has everyone been doing at Apple since the problems with the iPhone 6 started?

Looking for Jobs.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the fancy cat say when he wanted to leave?

Le meow

What did Drake say to 2Chainz as he was leaving da club?

Challah at ya boy!

Vasectomy Jokes More Vasectomy Jokes

What is the distinction between a man that has had a vasectomy and one who hasn't?

I don't know, as far as I'm concerned there's not a vas deferens.

Why did the black man wear a tuxedo to his Vasectomy?

If he was going to be impotent he wanted to look impotent.