Band Jokes

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

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What do you call a guy with no musical talent that hangs out with the band?

The drummer.

What's the difference between jelly and jam?

Nobody would name their band Pearl Jelly.

What do you call a band of unlucky politicians?

The Dead Kennedys.

What do you call four white guys in a band?

The 4Skins

Which band does rockclimbers listen to ?

Rolling Stones

What do you call a group of Spanish-speaking moms who band together to protect their neighborhood?

Super Barrio Mothers

What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference?

System of a Downs My Chemical Imbalance. Youth In Asia

How did Metallica get their band name?

They Bonded over lunch.

What do you call a band of otters!?

otterpop

What band does a wannabe join?

Rock Band for the XBOX 360

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Why was the guy wearing the fedora upset?

Because you didn't ask him what band he's in.

Why was the band late to their gig?

Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys.

Why wasn't the fish allowed to play in the band?

Because he couldn't tuna piano!

Why did the Turkey join the band?

because he had two Drumsticks.

How are the band "The Scorpions" and rural shepherds alike?

They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.

Why did the band Wham! break up?

Because he didn't wake him up before he went went. It's , people.

What happens when you cross the band "The Knack" and a bottle of Corona?

A song called "My Corona"

What's the difference between an flautist and a Porsche?

Most members of the band haven't been in a Porsche.

What do you call a dinosaur who joins the band The Clash?

A StayGosaurus

What do you call the retarded guy that follows the band around?

The Drummer

What did the Japanese Journey covers band sing at the funeral?

Don't stop, bereaving!

What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time?

tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))

Why did they let the chicken join the band?

Because he brought his own drumsticks

What are we gonna name our band?

from crowd look at the one guys hair! LMFAO *they look at each other*

Why did the band 999 megabytes break up?

Because they couldn't get a gig.

Which band does feminists hate the most?

Cis-tem of a Down

What's the difference between a group of crafty midgets and a jogging club comprised exclusively of women?

The former is a band of cunning runts...

What did the band consisting only of postmen call itself?

Vanmailen.

What's the name of the Russian Bee Gees cover band?

KGBGs

Why can't the band Def Leppard make music anymore?

They all lost their hearing

What band performed at the Jefferson memorial?

Nickelback

What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs "

What band is a cow favorite?

Moody Blues

What band was Harambe In?

Gorillaz

What do you call a crocodile in a band?

A crocstar

What instrument do piggys play in a band?

Pigcussion!

What would happen if The Styx and The Stones got a band together?

It wood rock.

What band does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

Slayer.

What is Queen's (the band, not the monarch) favourite type of luggage?

carry ooooooooonnnn, carry ooooooonnnnnnnnnn

Why isn't the band "1023 MB" famous?

They haven't had a gig yet.

What did the band Weezer say about the nudist beach?

All the mammaries made me want to go back there!

What the band's name?

me: looking over desk for ideas Inbox(29)

What should we call our band?

Ponies! -Dude, we're a heavy metal band. -Satanic ponies!

Have you heard of the band 1023MB?

They haven't got a gig yet.

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Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

How many communists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One guy to screw in the light bulb, and the other guy to shoot him if he doesn't do it right.

What do you call a guy who wants to join the mile high club by himself?

A high-jacker.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you get a woman to stop texting you?

Reply to her message within a minute

When do chickens stop laying eggs?

Henopause

Xbox Jokes More Xbox Jokes

Whats faster then a Aboriginal with a TV?

His son with the xbox.

Why is Xbox 360's successor called Xbox One and not Xbox 720?

Cos 720 is 1

Band Director Jokes More Band Director Jokes

Why couldn't the band director pick a piece in 4/4 time?

It's too common

What did the band director say to the misbehaving kid?

You're in treble mister!

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What's the difference between U-Haul and Youtube?

People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.

Why did the baby drop its rattle?

It got hit by a truck

Elastic Band Jokes More Elastic Band Jokes

Why Pyongyang the capital of North Korea?

It is the same noise the elastic bands that launch their nuclear missiles make

Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them?

I did! Well here's the elastic band.

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank. (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious feel free to suggest a better wording!)

What is the most deadliest breakfast?

Ebola cereal. Note: Got it from my stepbrother who has his moments.

Instrument Jokes More Instrument Jokes

Why did the cellist have to sell his instrument?

He was baroque.

What did the tuba say to the clarinet?

Nothing, instruments don't talk.