What did the hippie say when I asked him to leave my house?

Nah, I'm-a stay.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why should you always finish telling your jokes to David Carradine?

He doesn't like to be left hanging.

Why did the Irish man never get caught drink driving?

Because he never left the pub.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do you call a fissure in the earth that houses old Russian rulers who like to mock others ironically?

Tsar-Chasm

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How the hell did you get a body like that?

he asked. "Thanks," I said, "That's very flattering." He said, "Not really mate."

What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?

A nun with a javelin in her throat. (The only joke I can ever recall when asked for one. Told to me by my art teacher in Grade 11. Needless to say, he was my favourite teacher)

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

Why did god invent patchouli?

So blind people can hate hippies too.

What did the hippie say about all of the math problems?

They're all, like, equal to me...

Nah Jokes More Nah Jokes

How many anti-feminists does it take to screw the light bulb?

Anti feminists? Nah, they can't screw

How was the party last night?

17: It was fun. The cops came. Me: What 17: Nah, it's cool. We got away. Me: That's my girl.