Holiday Jokes

Why isn't the holiday on December 25th pronounced "Chlistmas"?

Because there's no L.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Where do weeaboos holiday?

Kawaii

Where do strippers go on holiday ?

Poland

Where do idiots go on holiday?

Twitzerland.

What are your favorite jokes for the Holidays?

For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice.

What do heavily-armored army vehicles celebrate for the holidays?

tanksgiving

Why can't rappers take holidays?

They always forget Tupac.

What is a rednecks favorite pie during the holidays?

Pump-Kin

What is the most said band name during the holidays?

What do Native Americans do for the holidays?

Nativities.

Why couldn't the whistle blower make it home for the holidays?

he was snowden

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Where did the salami go on holiday?

Costa Deli-Sol

What do you call it when a cow goes on holiday?

A vaccation

Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday?

Because he had a wee cough

Whos the coolest guy in hospital?

The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy

Where do ants go for their holidays ?

Frants !

What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?

A merry dairy!

What does a racist decorate in their home for the holidays?

Their bigotry.

Where do bees go on holiday ?

Stingapore !

Where do Koalas love to go for a holiday?

Koala Lumpur.

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."

Where do ghosts go for their holidays?

The Dead Sea.

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

What does a llama do when it goes on holidays?

Alpaca ya bags.

Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?

KFC isnt open on holidays.

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

You might also enjoy:

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?

MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

What's the most poular Christmas carol in the desert?

Oh caaamel ye faithful.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What did Santa give the blind, autistic, paraplegic kid with down syndrome for Christmas?

Cancer.

Why does Santa have such a beautiful garden?

He is always Hoe-hoe-hoeing.

Carl Jokes More Carl Jokes

How many Ricks from TWD does it take to change a light bulb?

Carl gets shot in the face.

What's Rick Grimes' favorite holiday?

Christmas, Carl

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

What do brunettes and red-heads do on Friday nights?

Make blonde jokes!

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

What do hillbillies do on halloween?

Pump-Kin

Travel Jokes More Travel Jokes

Why did you lead me on a five-state chase?

Driver: I love to travel.

What do you call a duck traveling south that enters a time warp and meets itself traveling north?

A pair of ducks.

Idiot Jokes More Idiot Jokes

What did the necropheliac say to her boyfriend?

Did rigor mortis just set in, or are you just happy to see me Edit: I'm an idiot

What do you call a group of Idiots?

Congress

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What happens when you mix a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite

What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?

Tequila Mockingbird!