Holiday Jokes

Why isn't the holiday on December 25th pronounced "Chlistmas"?

Because there's no L.

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Where do weeaboos holiday?

Kawaii

Where do strippers go on holiday ?

Poland

Where do idiots go on holiday?

Twitzerland.

What are your favorite jokes for the Holidays?

For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice.

What do heavily-armored army vehicles celebrate for the holidays?

tanksgiving

Why can't rappers take holidays?

They always forget Tupac.

What is a rednecks favorite pie during the holidays?

Pump-Kin

What is the most said band name during the holidays?

What do Native Americans do for the holidays?

Nativities.

Why couldn't the whistle blower make it home for the holidays?

he was snowden

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Where did the salami go on holiday?

Costa Deli-Sol

What do you call it when a cow goes on holiday?

A vaccation

Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday?

Because he had a wee cough

Whos the coolest guy in hospital?

The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy

Where do ants go for their holidays ?

Frants !

What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?

A merry dairy!

What does a racist decorate in their home for the holidays?

Their bigotry.

Where do bees go on holiday ?

Stingapore !

Where do Koalas love to go for a holiday?

Koala Lumpur.

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."

Where do ghosts go for their holidays?

The Dead Sea.

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

What does a llama do when it goes on holidays?

Alpaca ya bags.

Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?

KFC isnt open on holidays.

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

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A buck an ear

Who pays?

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What did Santa give the blind, autistic, paraplegic kid with down syndrome for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did Stevie Wonder think when he got a cheese grater for christmas?

That it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

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What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

What do you call a lobster dressed up as Santa?

Santa Claws

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What sound did the slot machine make when the Chinese person won the jackpot?

Cha-chink!

What Is a Chinese persons favorite holiday?

Chinko De Mayo

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How does a Redditor greet a woman from Kuala Lumpur?

M'alaydy

How do you greet an overweight Micronesian when you're trying to sound cool?

Microsoft Word.

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What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?

For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".

What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit?

A honey bunny.

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What's the difference between a radical and a moderate Muslim?

A radical Muslim wants to cut your head off, but a moderate Muslim the radical Muslim to cut your head off. Bye.

Why shouldn't you invest in muslim-owned businesses?

They never show a prophet.

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Why does Poland stay from Germany?

a couple decades ago they had a three way with Russia that ended poorly

What happens when a soviet and a german have a child?

I don't know but he can conquer poland really fast.