What are your favorite jokes for the Holidays?

For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice.

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?

She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.

What do you call a clairvoyant dwarf that recently broke out of prison?

A small medium at large. (One of my sister's favourites)

Holiday Jokes More Holiday Jokes

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

Why isn't the holiday on December 25th pronounced "Chlistmas"?

Because there's no L.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

How do I make a St. Patrick's Day mocha?

He says Irish coffee is the only thing keeping this family together

What do you call a British midget mother who can barely support her family?

Mini-Mum

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

Why did Einstein refuse to help people fix their cars?

Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.

Why is it so hard to help deaf people?

Because they never listen.

Struggle Jokes More Struggle Jokes

What's the difference between mathematicians and Syrian refugees?

Mathematicians don't struggle with integration.

What's one thing the Hulk would struggle tearing down?

The fourth wall

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes?

Because icing is not allowed.

Why did the monster put the cake in the freezer?

Because he had been told to ice it.

Favorite Joke Jokes More Favorite Joke Jokes

What's your favorite joke?

mine's Womens Rights.

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?