Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why are there so many dogs at the pound?

Because no one wants them.

Why does the Fonz dress up as an insect when going on a journey?

Because he wants to get from ayy to bee.

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

Why did the bird join he air force?

He wanted to be a parrot trooper!

Why did the chemist join the Pentecostal church?

He wanted to speak in tungsten.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do strippers hate roofers?

They always pay in shingles.

What do you call an asian who hates black people?

A member of the Kru Krux Kran

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What do you call a family in which everyone from grand parents to grand kids smoke weed?

Joint Family.

What do you call a family of 8 rabbits?

One rabbyte

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

How is Twitter like Game of Thrones?

There's 140 characters, and they are all terrible.

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

Branch Jokes More Branch Jokes

Why was the sapling such a horrible entrepreneur?

Because he couldn't branch out.

Why did the monkey trip over the branch?

Because the Chimp-Can't -See

Coworker Jokes More Coworker Jokes

Where do weirdos ride their bicycles?

Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)

What are sloths?

Wrong, What are coworkers"