Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do we want...?

LOW FLYING AIRPLANES!" When do we want it "NEEEEOOOOOOOOOOW"

How many more times will I watch "A Walk To Remember" tonight?

As Mandy Moore times as I want to.

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Why did the carpenter join the army?

Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

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What does a bully say to someone with severe depression?

Stop hating yourself, stop hating yourself!

What is the type of humor do you hate the most?

Dark humor... I hate it when black people tell jokes.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What's the difference between a folk singer and a pepperoni pizza?

A pepperoni pizza can actually feed a family of five.

What the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

The bench can support a family my first post here, a friend told me this joke.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Why does Brendon Rodgers hate Twitter?

It only allows 140 characters

What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel?

A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters

Branch Jokes More Branch Jokes

What's a Michigander?

A: An Ohioan who can read. Q: What's an Ohioan? A: A Kentuckian who can count. Q: What's a Kentuckian? A: A West Virginian with a branching family tree. Q: And who the hell are you to be making all these rude judgments? A: Trauma counselor for tour guides.

What branch of the military did the hipster join?

The Salvation Army.

Coworker Jokes More Coworker Jokes

When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?

I'm funny that way.

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.