Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the kid steal the fan?

He wanted to be cool.

Why did the black man wear a suit to his vasectomy?

If he was going to be Impotent he wanted to look impotent. (important)

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

Why do you want to join the Secret Service?

Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."

What did the worm want to do when he grew up?

He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What food do vampires hate?

Steaks.

Why does China hate Digimon Fans?

Because they recognise Ty won

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why did the cab driver did not get time for his family?

Because he was Uber busy.

What has four wheels and can't support a family?

A liberal arts major. I lied about the wheels.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What's the difference between Twitter and Game of Thrones?

Twitter only allows 140 characters.

What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

Branch Jokes More Branch Jokes

Why do trees have so many friends?

They branch out

What bank do birds open accounts with?

The one with the most branches!

Coworker Jokes More Coworker Jokes

How about an office party?

ME: crosses out "replace coworkers with puppies" I guess

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.