What's black white and read all over?

A: A newspaper.

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How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.

What did Helen Keller say when she put down the cheese grater?

That was the most violent book I've ever read.

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Which newspaper is most popular around cows?

The Moo York Times

Why did the newspaper cross the street?

To get to the other side of the story.