What's black white and read all over?

A: A newspaper.

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What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

You should know, you've only read it twenty times.

What did Helen Keller say when she put down the cheese grater?

That was the most violent book I've ever read.

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How did the newspaper go about reviewing the opera production?

They followed Standard Opera-rating Procedure

How did the Reddit user read his newspaper?

ltORIGINAL&gt He Reddit