What do you call a deaf person who can't lip read?

Anything you want!

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Why didn't the motorcycle want to go for a ride?

It was two tired...

Who wants two tickets to the gun show?

I bought the Groupon but can't make it :(

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Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

What happened to wendy on her way to neverland?

She peed her pants (read out loud)

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How do you tell a deaf person to shut up?

Here, hold this."

How do you shut up a deaf person?

Punch them in the hands.