What newspaper do cows read?

The Daily Moos.

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What do you call a cow that's swallowed a stick of dynamite?

Abominable.

What's the difference between a cow and September 11?

You stop milking a cow after 10 years.

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How did Helen Keller lose her arm?

Trying to read the road signs!!!

What's the difference between the jokes I read today, and the jokes I read last week?

The posters

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How did the newspaper go about reviewing the opera production?

They followed Standard Opera-rating Procedure

How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.