How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How do we know JFK was a fan of PDA?

He was all over his wife at the parade

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did the lady stare at the orange juice?

Because she thought it was telling her to concentrate!

Why are guys so bad at math?

They can't tell the difference between 3 inches and 9 inches.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say when he couldn't remember why it was there?

Arrrh, it's driving me nuts

How do you drive this thing?

Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

How do you spell "apathy"?

I don't care.

Who took care of German army dogs after the war?

Veteran Aryans

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What do you call the place where lesbian Eskimos meet up?

A Klondike Bar

What do Psychologists say to each other when they meet?

You're fine how am I "

Age Jokes More Age Jokes

Why do ghosts never age?

They use Bootox.

Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?

A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home?

She moved.

How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident?

As many as it takes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

Print Jokes More Print Jokes

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!