How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did my sperm cross the road?

Because my wife wore the wrong socks.

What did you get me for Mother's Day?

3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it 3: You haven't made it yet.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door?

Triforce

What did one priest say to the other priest?

Do you know where my son is " "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I'm a necrophiliac."

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What kind of a car does a crazy man drive?

A LOCOmotive.

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and drives women wild?

deez nuts

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

Why does China care so much about money?

They can't resist all of the cha-'ching'.

Who does first?

Who dies first? No one cares. :/

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What does Paddy Irishman says when he meets a one legged jockey?

How're you gettin' on

Why did the business dog chase his tail?

So he could make ends meet!

Age Jokes More Age Jokes

What's the best way to get a youthful figure?

ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.

What do computer programmers and aged-care nurses have in common?

They both worry about the position of colons.

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

What do you call someone who blows himself up by accident?

An Errorist!

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper?

C4.

What's black and white and read all over?

The newspaper.

Print Jokes More Print Jokes

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

How do you print something when you've really got to go to the toilet?

You ctrl p.