How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

Why doesn't Kanye West take his wife to the beach?

Because he is afraid tidal wave will take her away from him.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why can't a terrorist tell a joke?

They always bomb the punchline!

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Whats six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?

Money.

When driving through fog what should you use?

A: Your car.

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

Why does no one care that space is a vacuum?

Oh it doesn't really matter.

Who took care of German army dogs after the war?

Veteran Aryans

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What did your mom's leg say to her other leg?

Nothing they've never met.

What club cancels their meeting everytime?

The vegan club

Age Jokes More Age Jokes

When I was your age I ate every one. Mary: Do you still like crusts Grandma?

Grandma: Yes I do. Mary: Well you can have mine.

Why do Asian people never seem to age?

I met a chinese girl today & I estimate her age to be somewhere between 4 & 197.

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home?

She moved.

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

What's black white and read all over?

A: A newspaper.

What kind of newspaper do cows read?

The Moo York Times

Print Jokes More Print Jokes

How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!