Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

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What do you get when you cross a canyon with a horse?

I don't know nobody has ever made it across.

How do you know someone is from California?

They tell you.

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Why does Reddit have so many reposts?

Because you already read-it.

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

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Why does the prosecutor only choose jurors who drive Hummers?

So that there's no chance of a hung jury

What can run out before you've had a chance to use it?

Slaves.

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Which candy is never on time?

Choco-late.

Why did you offer me a piece of candy?

Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

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What's the difference between a Snickers and my girlfriend?

Snickers satisfies.

What did Obi-wan say to Skywalker the first time he saw him as Darth Vader?

snickering) Nice suit, must have cost you an ...

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Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.