Candy Jokes

What did the candy say as they saw a group of intimidating crackers approach?

Cheez It!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

Why did the man name his daughter Candy?

She was the sweetest mistake he ever made.

Which candy is never on time?

Choco-late.

What did the pedophiliac rabbi say to the young boy?

Hey there little boy, you wanna BUY some candy?

Why did Jesus go to a Candy shop?

To Test a Mint

What candy do you give your wife before you get married?

Pre-nup brittle.

How do you spell "candy" with only 2 letters?

and

Whats easier than stealing candy from a baby?

Stealing candy from a dead baby.

Why did you offer me a piece of candy?

Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy?

Lots a candy.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Whats your favorite pickup line?

Mine is: I'll give you candy if you get in the van

What do you get if you cross teeth with candy ?

Dental floss !

How do sheep divide candy?

They all get their fair shear

Which do you choose?

WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy.

What did the Israeli Prime Minister who can't say the word "and" say about candy that caused such a hubbub?

Mike Ike's are my least favorite.

How do you spell candy with two letters?

C and Y

How are music and candy similar?

We throw away the rappers.

How's everyone else holding up?

Anyone know why they all have bags of candy

Who's there ! Candy ! Candy who ?

Candy cow jump over the moon !

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

Why does Daniel love white vans?

Because he likes candy... *I'll walk myself out*

Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?

Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears."

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?

It was Valenswine's Day.

You might also enjoy:

Wanna Jokes More Wanna Jokes

How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage, you wanna?

What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts?

I don't even wanna talk to the living.

Chip Jokes More Chip Jokes

How many McDonald's counter girls does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it.

What are a philosopher's favorite type of chips?

Plato Nachos

Mint Jokes More Mint Jokes

What you call toes that taste like mint?

Tic-tac-toe! My 8 year old daughter made this one up.

Whats the difference between congress and a US mint?

One of them makes sense!

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

What's the difference between a redwood and a dead baby?

A redwood won't fit in a wood chipper.

What's funnier than a dead baby?

Dead baby in clowns costume.

Daughter Jokes More Daughter Jokes

What do you call someone who slaps their siblings daughter?

A niece slapper.

What do you mean the school must be haunted ?

Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

Little Boy Jokes More Little Boy Jokes

Where did the little Japanese girl go when the little boy dropped by?

Everywhere.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?

He got hit by a bus

Allahu Snackbar Jokes More Allahu Snackbar Jokes

What did the Jihad name his concession stand?

Allahu Snackbar!"

What is ISIS's favorite candy bar?

Allahu Snackbar, it's flavor is explosive.

Candy Cane Jokes More Candy Cane Jokes

What do you call it when you spin a candy cane?

a tournament

Why did the man keep reloading the picture of the candy cane at the potluck?

He was in charge of refresh mints.