Size Jokes

What's the best part about being an orphan?

All your chips and candy bars are family sized.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do moths fly with their legs spread?

Have you ever seen the size of mothballs?

What do you call a file that is a petabyte in size?

What do you call a file that is a petabyte in size? A peta-file.

What size lumber is used to build homes in Dubai?

Dubai fours

What did all of the birds do to the bird that couldn't fly?

They ostrich-sized him

What did the bullied microchip say?

PIC on someone your own size!

What is the size of women in Italy?

Itali-cized.

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

What do you call a military base that has quadrupled in size?

Four-tified

What size clothes do fortune tellers wear?

Medium.

What did the booger say to the finger?

Pick on someone your own size.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call somebody who is content being average sized?

A happy medium.

Which I replied, "Wanna know whats also the size of Australia?

Australia.

Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?

A: It swells at night.

How many contortionists fit in the trunk of a regular sedan?

Depends on the size of the pieces.

Why do moths fly with their legs apart?

Have you ever seen the size of moth balls

What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress?

The size of the tip.

How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?

A: Inflate it.

How do you get a puppy to stay the same size forever?

You stop feeding it.

What is 6 afraid of 7?

Because size matters.

How do hens always know what size your egg cup is?

They don't but all eggs always fit.

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Golf Club Jokes More Golf Club Jokes

Why did the Aggie take a golf club and a baseball glove storm chasing with him?

To golf the golf ball size hail and catch the baseball size hail

What's the best wood to make a golf club out of?

Taiga Wood

Golf Jokes More Golf Jokes

What do you get when you mix free running with golf?

Parfour Sorry

Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?

Just in case you get a hole in one.

Mothball Jokes More Mothball Jokes

Why do moths fly with their legs spread?

Have you ever seen the size of mothballs?

What do you get when you hold a mothball in your left hand and a mothball in your right hand?

A rather excited moth

Lumber Jokes More Lumber Jokes

What do you call a big, dumb, slow guy who cuts down trees?

A lumbering oaf.

How do lumber theives offload their stolen goods?

They fence it.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the dragonball z fan say when he wanted to go to the toilet?

I need to goku the toilet

Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione?

Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch

Spread Jokes More Spread Jokes

Why did the bed spread?

Because it saw the pillow slip.

Lady: How do I spread love in this cruel world?

Random Dude: [...💘]

Measure Jokes More Measure Jokes

Why do we measure snakes in inches?

Because they don't have any feet!

How do you measure a Lego figure's shoe size?

In square feet.

Moth Jokes More Moth Jokes

What well-known cartoon character do moths like a hole lot?

Second Caribou: Micky Moth!

What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly?

An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.