Why did Jesus quit playing hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

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Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why is it so hard to play cards in the jungle?

There are too many cheetahs. Courtesy of the St. Louis Zoo Facebook page.

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What type of car would Jesus drive?

A Chrysler

Why was Jesus I such good shape?

Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

How do know a job's been done by a lesbian carpenter?

There are no nails, and no screws, it's all tongue and groove!

Why didn't Jesus get into college?

Because he got nailed on the boards.

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

What do you call a guy that used to fight in the ring, but quit it all for video games?

An ex-boxer.

Why did the mountain climber quit halfway through his climb?

He really wasn't feeling up to it.

Board Jokes More Board Jokes

What type of board will you be riding?

Jesus: looks at feet They're using boards

Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.