What book is better when you read it drunk?

Tequila Mockingbird.

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Why do girls always get mad when I try to read their shirts?

It's not my fault I'm blind.

What do you call someone who can't stop reading Nancy Drew novels?

A heroine addict.

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What are you going to do with your time, now that you're retired?

I'm going to finish my book." "I didn't know you were writing a book." "I'm not, I'm reading one."

Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush?

The Naked Ape!

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What is Harper Lee's favorite alcoholic drink?

A Tequila Mockingbird.

What is an alcoholic Mexican's favorite book?

Tequila Mockingbird