Headline Jokes

What did the headlines read after the midget fortune-teller escaped from jail?

Small medium at large.

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What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented?

There's been a ground breaking discovery...

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

Why did North Korea tell South Korea not to crow about the recent agreement?

Because they'd rather see them raven. Obligatory apology: saw a headline and couldn't resist.

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Line Jokes More Line Jokes

What do you get if you cross a pig and a telephone ?

A lot of crackling on the line !

What do you have when you get 32 rednecks in a line?

A full set of teeth

Imagine Jokes More Imagine Jokes

Why is God depressed?

Imagine...*You* Being God, the Lord, Him... But imagine us.

What's it like to work in customer service/retail?

Imagine there's a race of people called customers. Now imagine you're a huge racist.

Crow Jokes More Crow Jokes

What does a crow with a cold sound like?

Caw-ph, Caw-ph, caw-ph.

What do you call a crow who repairs time pieces?

A bird watcher.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

How does Ohm conduct an orchestra?

Standing on his head!

What do you say to an alien with two heads?

Hello. Hello.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do mathematicians scold their children?

If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times ..."

Why do American beer companies always advise that their beer should be served cold?

So you can tell it apart from urine

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Britain and Australia?

When one votes, it changes something, making things worse. When another votes, it doesn't change anything, making things worse.

What's the difference between Hillary's e-mails and the UK leaving the EU?

Hillary got off Scott-free.

North Korea Jokes More North Korea Jokes

Why doesn't North Korea's population exponentially grow?

Because they must build additional pylons.

How do you LOL in N. Korea?

ROR! No one raugh in North Korea!

Rob Jokes More Rob Jokes

What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?

A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)

What did the body-builder say after his house got robbed?

No whey...