Why did my husband die?

Doctor responds: "Heavy drug use, ma'am" Widow: "But doctor, my husband didn't use drugs!" Doctor: "I know, but I did"

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call a deer that likes rain?

A rain-deer. I know it's terrible.

How do you know your dog's cancer is really bad?

If the vet says it's mutt-astasized.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why does America use Mexicans to pick our oranges?

As we saw on Tuesday, it takes 1/2 of America to pick an Orange.

Which Machine Should I Use?

Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What kind of drugs do ducks use?

Quack.

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do lawyers do after they die?

They lie still.

What doesn't float to the top when it dies?

A day old reddit post.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What are you praying for?

Husband: For guidance. Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!!

What did your husband say?

He said 'Thank you'. "

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the doctor quit his job?

He ran out of patients.

What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter?

Thank you for your patients.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

How did Stevie Wonder respond when asked how he coped with being blind?

At least I'm not black.

How did NBC respond to someone who criticized their broadcasting?

I ( ) can't ( ) understand ( ) your accent ( ).

Widow Jokes More Widow Jokes

What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't?

A widow.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A widow.