What is it about glow sticks that makes me want to dance in a field wearing fairy wings?

If only I hadn't taken so many drugs I'd know this.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How do you tell when a girl really wants you?

When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.

What's the difference between a gardener and a pimp?

A gardener doesn't want his hose to have kinks.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you put an elephant in a safeway bag?

How do you put an elephant in a safeway bag? : I don't know, how? : Take the S away from "safe" and the F out of "way." : But there's no F in way. :

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.

Field Jokes More Field Jokes

When you are driving though the field in Texas, you see a lot of cattle. They are very special. Wanna know why?

They are out standing in the field

What has ears but cannot hear?

A field of corn.

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

Why don't drug addicts hang out at the beach?

They don't like getting sand in their crack.

How does a hipster measure out his drugs?

Using instagrams.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What has long ears four legs and is worn on your head?

An Easter bunnet!

What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow?

Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

Dance Jokes More Dance Jokes

Which whiskey should you buy if you want to dance all night?

Wild Twerky!

Why don't ghosts have legs?

Because they're so white the can't dance.