What do you call jeans that haven't been worn before?

Vir-jeans

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What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

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What do you call an alligator that wears a vest?

An investigator.

What do all Japanese Airmen wear eye patches?

Because they're pirots!