How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?

Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What if they had a call center where they call you everyday with a mission to make you laugh?

But instead of a call center, they called it a lol center! So much lol, that it will make you fall!

What did the cholo say when two houses fell on top of him?

Get off me homes!

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

Why didn't the Buddhist monk vacuum under his couch?

He had no attachments.

Why did Bibi Netanyahu lie on a couch licking his balls?

Likud.

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they hate Turkey

What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

Cocaine Jokes More Cocaine Jokes

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year-old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

Gravy Jokes More Gravy Jokes

What is a mortician's favorite side dish?

Gravy

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy