How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?

Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why wasn't drinking permitted on the Oregon trail?

It was important not to fall off the wagon.

Why do bicycles always fall down if unsupported?

Because they're two-tired.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What's the appropriate age to take the electric shock collar off your kid?

My son's 10 years... hold on... OFF THE COUCH! brb... convulsing.

What is the difference between a black man and a couch?

A couch can support a family

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners?

Because usually they're stuck with reservations.

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

Cocaine Jokes More Cocaine Jokes

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window

Why did Johnny Cash have the Cocaine Blues?

He ran out of cocaine.

Gravy Jokes More Gravy Jokes

What is a mortician's favorite side dish?

Gravy

What are you wearing?

ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.