What's the appropriate age to take the electric shock collar off your kid?

My son's 10 years... hold on... OFF THE COUCH! brb... convulsing.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What did the russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!"

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the Priest favorite breakfast?

Kids.

Who's Gotye?

while their kids were like, "What's a record

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

Why would you be scared to get Ebola?

You haven't left your couch since 2011.

What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch?

Namaste.

10 Year Jokes More 10 Year Jokes

What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You stop milking a cow after 10 years.

How much time do I have left, doctor?

Doctor: 10 Guy: 10 what ! 10 days, 10 months, 10 years Doctor: 9...8...7...6...5...