What's going on?

Me: The kids gave me this *holds up Dad Is #1 mug* W: That's sweet H: Sweet They think I'm pee!

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What has 108 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk?

My Zipper.

What are pigskins used for?

Holding the pig together.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?

They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving

What be a pirate's favorite restaurant?

You'd think it was Arby's, but it's actually Long John Silver's.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What is a black guy's favorite game to play with the kids?

Peekaboo.

How many Chinese men does it take to make a Smartphone?

I dunno, ask the Kids.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Why did the dad say the joke instead of act it out?

Because it was cheesier said than done.

How to scare parents?

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?" Son: "I don't have it." Dad: "Why?" Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."