What's the difference between me and my new couch?

The couch pulls out...

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Reddit and 4chan?

One is a group of immature internet trolls....and the other thinks it isn't.

What's the difference between a horse and a zebra?

A lawyer.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

Why would you be scared to get Ebola?

You haven't left your couch since 2011.

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What did the lobster do at the disco?

Pulled a muscle.

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?

A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!