What's the difference between me and my new couch?

The couch pulls out...

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and incense sticks?

Incense sticks make scents.

What's the difference between a cow and 911?

You stop milking a cow after 14 years..

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

How much do you bench?

Me: Way less than I couch.

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why is it so hard for an eighty year old woman to pee in the morning?

Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?!

What do you do when your mother-in-law is swaying towards you?

You pull the trigger again.