Why would you be scared to get Ebola?

You haven't left your couch since 2011.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why is the man only left with 30?

Credit to Bo Burnham.

Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

What is the difference between me and my couch?

My couch pulls outs

Ebola Jokes More Ebola Jokes

What was the catchiest thing of 2014?

Ebola

Why would you be scared to get Ebola?

You haven't left your couch since 2011.