Why did the priest cross the road ?

To screw in the children that were crossing the road

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Trick question. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags.

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

How did the astrologer cross the road?

In his Taurus!

Why did the hipster cross the road?

To get to a place you've probably never heard of.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What happens if you cross a midget and a computer?

A: You get a short circut.

Why did the black child cross the road?

To get to the other side

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre

Priest Jokes More Priest Jokes

What did the nun say to the priest?

Shut up

What do a priest and a swimmer who came in second have in common?

The both came in a little behind