Thanksgiving Jokes

What does the Incredible Hulk bring to the Avenger's Thanksgiving meal?

Smashed potatoes.

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Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin Happy Thanksgiving!

What do Japanese people say after a Thanksgiving prayer?

Ra'men.

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

What will Russians be cooking for Thanksgiving...?

Turkey

What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey.

What will you have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey"

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

How do you say Thanksgiving in Native American?

Last Supper

Who's the only one who doesn't say thanks on Thanksgiving?

The Turkey.

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Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners?

Because usually they're stuck with reservations.

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

What do Americans and Putin have in common?

They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.

Where's your maternity section?

Her: Over there. How far along is she Me: Her I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her...

Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving?

All the coats are on the bed!

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey."

What does my mom and a turkey have in common?

They both died on Thanksgiving

Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they hate Turkey

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert?

Bumpkin pie!

What do you call Jamal's dad during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years?

Hide n' Seek World Champion 2010-2016

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?

He gave tanks.

Which sports team honors the true spirit of Thanksgiving?

The Redskins

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?

Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

1)/8"

What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What kind of NUT would make a pie for THANKSGIVING?

Pecan, typically.

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ?

A: Turkey.

What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

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Thanksgive Dinner Jokes More Thanksgive Dinner Jokes

What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey."

Incredible Hulk Jokes More Incredible Hulk Jokes

What do you get when you cross Captain America with The Incredible Hulk?

A star-spangled banner

Why can't the incredible hulk find a girlfriend?

Because all the girls know he just wants to smash

Armenian Jokes More Armenian Jokes

How do you stop an Armenian tank?

You shoot the guys pushing it.

What do you call the device that keeps an Armenian man safe?

A Serj Protector.

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

How do you get pikachu on to a boat?

You pokemon

What do you call a gust of wind that blows a black guy off of a boat?

The NBA draft

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

Why did the hillbillies save some doe?

Because they knew it would give them a buck in good time.

Differentiate Jokes More Differentiate Jokes

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

Why do people say tunafish, rather than just tuna?

Is that to differentiate from the tunacow and tunagiraffe

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why did the Japanese American bring his server with him?

He thought they said internet camp

Why do ghosts get invited to parties?

Because they always bring boos.

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What are your intentions with our daughter?

Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me

What's the difference between snow tires and slaves?

Slaves sing when chains are put on them. PS - im going to church today to beg for forgiveness