What does a Russian burglar wear?

In a Russian accent ) robber boots

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How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?

None. In Russia, light bulb changes you.

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What did Vladimir name his member?

Put-in. (In a Russian accent)

What does a Russian burglar wear?

In a Russian accent ) robber boots