How does Sean Connery find his way to the toilet?

With a shat nav.

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What does a pediatrist do when you ask them which body part they find most interesting?

They admit de feet.

When one gun says to the other, "Damn dude, those are some nice bullets, where'd you get them?

the second gun says, "In some old magazine I found."

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?

By leaving a plunger in the toilet

What does Sherlock Holmes do in the toilet?

He de-deuces.

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How can you avoid falling hair?

Get out of the way.

What do they say about a rapper who stole a dictionary?

He got a way with words.

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Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

What time does Sean Connery get to the US Open?

Ten-ish