How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

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What will Russians be cooking for Thanksgiving...?

Turkey

Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners?

Because usually they're stuck with reservations.

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What's the difference between a puppy and a kernel of corn?

Nothing. They both explode when nuked in the microwave.

Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

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What do you call Vladimir Putin after an ultimate fighting championship?

Vloody Putin

What is Vladimir Putin's favourite Justin Timberlake song?

Crimea river

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What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked