Vladimir Putin Jokes

What is Vladimir Putin's favourite subject?

Computin science

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Why is Vladimir Putin always Russian?

Because he's never Finnish.

Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin?

Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place. I'll let myself out.

What is Vladimir Putin's favourite drink?

White Russian, Straight

What did Vladimir Putin say to the Ukraine after he annexed it?

Crimean river.

What did Vladimir Putin say after dropping a smashing one-liner?

Putout

What happens when Vladimir Putin stands up too fast?

Head Russian...

What do Vladimir Putin, Crude Oil, and the Russian Ruble have in common?

They're all going to be 65 this year.

What do you call Vladimir Putin after an ultimate fighting championship?

Vloody Putin

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What is Vladimir Putin's favourite Justin Timberlake song?

Crimea river

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How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin?

By looking over your shoulder.