What did Vladimir Putin say after dropping a smashing one-liner?

Putout

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What chord does a piano make when it drops on a child?

A-flat minor

Why did the DJ get fired as a waiter?

Because he'd drop everything

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What did the pianist do when someone smashed his piano?

He played many more pieces.

What do you call one chickpeas smashing another?

Hummuscide... *italics* gentleman bows

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What is Vladimir Putin's favourite drink?

White Russian, Straight

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked