What did the U.S president say before starting WW3?

Nukes... You're fired!

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

Why do I always seem to start my day backwards?

I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a pirate who intentionally sets a fire at sea?

An arrrrrsonist. Thank you. I'll be here all week.

What did the owner of a brownie factory say when his factory caught fire?

I'm getting the fudge outta here!"

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

Why is Jeopardy the #1 show in the U.S.?

Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.

Why is the U.S dollar getting stronger?

Fiscal therapy

Nuke Jokes More Nuke Jokes

Why do the Japaneese have squinty eyes?

Do you have any idea how bright a nuke is

What do Americans and Putin have in common?

They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.