Who's the only one who doesn't say thanks on Thanksgiving?

The Turkey.

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Who's the only one who doesn't say thanks on Thanksgiving?

The Turkey.

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?

Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)

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What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?

Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

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What's the difference between a Dove and a Turkey?

One has a coo, the other has a coup

What do you call a turkey with no arms?

a turkey