What does my mom and a turkey have in common?

They both died on Thanksgiving

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy?

Abort mission!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What type of bees don't die?

Zom-bees

Why did Jesus die on the cross?

he forgot the safe word

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

What does the Incredible Hulk bring to the Avenger's Thanksgiving meal?

Smashed potatoes.

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

Why don't turkey vultures ever lose their luggage?

They only ...

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

because they're inbred