What does my mom and a turkey have in common?

They both died on Thanksgiving

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"

What happened when the Italian chef died?

He pasta away

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey.

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

What's the difference between a Dove and a Turkey?

One has a coo, the other has a coup

Why was the Turkey v Germany match called off?

There were too many fowls.