When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

How do you make a horomone?

You don't pay her. (My mom is sick. Hilarious. But sick. )

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?

Because they won't stop to ask directions.

Why do so few men end up in Heaven?

They never stop to ask directions.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How do you know If your girlfriend is Canadian?

Look at her beaver.

What's the difference between a Snickers and my girlfriend?

Snickers satisfies.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?

A: The other replies "That was no piccolo that was my fife."

How many have you derailed this year?

I replied, "I'm not sure, it's hard to keep track"

Taxis Jokes More Taxis Jokes

How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes?

A: None. The democrats do that.

What are you doing, dad?

Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling "non-extraditable countries". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"