When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do your mom and the Baltimore Police have in common?

They both like giving nickel rides to black men!

Why is my mom always right about everything?

Because she said so and that's final.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why do people keep asking me what I'm going to be doing in three years?

I don't have 2020 vision.

What would Fred Flintstone say if you asked him which city had the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world?

Abu Dhabi Dooooooo!

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you call a punctuation mark that's got a girlfriend?

accommodating.

What do you call a girlfriend who does kegel exercises?

Your main squeeze.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What'll it be, love?

The woman replies, "I'll take a double entendre." So he gave it to her.

Why did the hunter scold his blonde wife after she shot a moose over quota?

Cause when he asked her why she shot it, she replied: "I asked it what it was before I shot. But that cow wasn't gonna fool me!"

Taxis Jokes More Taxis Jokes

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

What do call an ant that helps you with your taxes?

An account-ant.