When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

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What's the difference between a BJ and reddit gold?

Your mom never gave me reddit gold.

What do Jesus and your mom have in common?

They both got nailed all night.

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What's this for?

He asked. "A pay rise." I replied. "My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."

What did the throwing star say when I asked her if she could hit her target?

Of course, I'm shuriken.

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What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend?

See ya next month.

What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend?

Homeless

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What are my choices?

he asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

What are you taking for it?

Man replies "Pollen"

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Why is it so expensive to live in Ireland?

Cause they keep *Dublin* the taxes.

When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."