Why do so few men end up in Heaven?

They never stop to ask directions.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?

Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Why does a man only get half-hour lunch-breaks?

So his boss doesn't have to retrain him.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When asked which is more important looks or brains?

9 out of 10 zombies said "braaaaiiiiinnnnssss" number 10 ate the researcher.

What's the difference between a vegan, a crossfit instructor, and a psychological test subject?

The test subject is the only one you'd willingly ask to "tell us about yourself."

End Jokes More End Jokes

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

An envelope!

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "FIRETRUCK"!!! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? ..."POPCORN"!! What were you thinking?!?!?!

Direction Jokes More Direction Jokes

Why did George cross the road?

He didn't look in both directions before crossing.

Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix?

He was asking for directions.

Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

What do you call a woman in heaven?

An Angel A crowd of women in heaven - A host of Angels And all women in heaven - PEACE ON EARTH!

What does Debbie Reynolds sing in heaven?

Good mourning, good mourning, good mourning!!!