How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

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Lube Jokes More Lube Jokes

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

Slow Jokes More Slow Jokes

What's the hurry?

Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.

What are goosebumps for?

To slow down speeding geese!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why could the chef not cook a tree branch?

Because he used a non-stick pan.

What do members of secret societies use when they get a head cold?

An Illumi-neti pot

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What's the difference between slavery and a cow?

You stop milking a cow after 150 years.

Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost?

It had a nervous breakdown.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why did the oak tree get his girlfriend pregnant?

Because the state abolished plant parenthood

What does weed and your girlfriend have in common?

They both leave me sticky fingers. 7