What do you think Michael Hastings was working on before he died?

slowing down his car. ... ... shoutout to for this one.

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Slow Jokes More Slow Jokes

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time?

MC Escher

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What's green and lays in a ditch while covered in cookie crumbs?

The Girl Scout that got hit by a car.

Where does Stevie Wonder park his car?

In blind spots.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Which appliance in your home do you think is the most useful?

His answer: "My mom."

Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist?

Because she thought everybody loved her.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's the perfect line of work for a lizard?

Re-tail.

What is black, bitter and dont work worth a damn?

Decaf coffee.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do husbands die before their wives?

They want to.

Why did the calendar die?

It's days were numbered.

Shoutout Jokes More Shoutout Jokes

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner