How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

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Lube Jokes More Lube Jokes

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

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How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time?

MC Escher

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How was work?

flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good

What is the difference between a baby and a feminist?

The baby grows up and learns to stop crying.

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What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?

Homeless.

What's the similarity between iPhone 7 and my girlfriend?

They both let me stick it in only one place.

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How do I raise my kids?

Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it

What Would Justin Bieber Do?

scream like a little girl, grab nonexistent testicles & run away awkwardly.