What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is headache ?

5 minutes talk to wife.

What did the man say after his wife was dragged off the beach by a seal?

Welp, seal ate her.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What happens when you smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb?

Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!

Lube Jokes More Lube Jokes

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you know if a pepper is starting a fight with you?

It gets jalapeno face.

Why did the pig go in the kitchen?

To start some bacon

Slow Jokes More Slow Jokes

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant

Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time?

MC Escher

Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

What did the memory say to the processor?

If you apply a voltage to me, I'm going to flip a bit!

How do apply for a job at the NSA?

You make a private phone call to anyone else, and submit your application.