How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

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How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

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What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

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Why do sumo wrestles shave their legs?

So that you can tell them apart from feminists

What's the most important part about telling a joke?

Your PUN-unciation

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What's the cheapest kind of noodle you can buy?

Penne.

How many people does it take to change a light bulb?

Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....