Tumblr Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

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Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

What is Tumblr's least favourite show?

NCIS

What is the biggest gender on Tumblr?

Whale-Kin

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

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What's the name of the car of a hipster batman?

Tumblr.

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

How are 4chan and Tumblr alike?

They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.

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Darth Vader Jokes More Darth Vader Jokes

How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

What do you call it when Darth Vader moves one foot?

The Imperial March

Dry Jokes More Dry Jokes

What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath?

Polly unsaturated!

What do you get when you dry out a Stark?

Raisin Bran

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a ring-tailed lemur with a U-Haul truck?

I'm not sure, but I know

What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?

A bite in shining armor.

Tumblrina Jokes More Tumblrina Jokes

Why was the tumblrina mad at the gamer?

He was pushing the right trigger.

Why did the tumblrina quit being a teacher?

It wasn't her job to educate people.

Trigger Jokes More Trigger Jokes

What do you do when your mother-in-law is swaying towards you?

You pull the trigger again.

What do guns and feminists have in common?

They are very loud when triggered.

Clothe Jokes More Clothe Jokes

What do people with an extra chromosome wash their clothes with?

Downy.

How can I help you sir?

One clothes please!

Identify Jokes More Identify Jokes

How do you search and identify for feminist jokes in /r/jokes?

They have a "JOKE" disclaimer tag

How many guys in IT does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb.

Square Jokes More Square Jokes

What is Pi squared?

Pop-tart.

Why didn't the waffle go to the pancake party?

He was a square.