Tumblr Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

What is Tumblr's least favourite show?

NCIS

What is the biggest gender on Tumblr?

Whale-Kin

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

What's the name of the car of a hipster batman?

Tumblr.

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

How are 4chan and Tumblr alike?

They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?

A sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick?

cause their cars are always Stalin

Trigger Nometry Jokes More Trigger Nometry Jokes

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.

Clothe Jokes More Clothe Jokes

What does Snoop Dogg use to wash his clothes?

bleotch!!

Where do the sith get their clothes?

Darth Mall

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

How do you know when a guy is really in love with his girlfriend?

When he starts using condoms with other girls.

How can you tell an ant is a boy or girl?

Throw it in water If it sinks = girl ant If it floats = buoyant

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

Why is religion like mobile gaming?

Free-to-pray, pray-to-win.

What does a noodle say after praying?

Ramen

Cloth Jokes More Cloth Jokes

What's the best way to wipe a computer server?

A cloth.

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

What's the difference between a girl's track team and a pygmy tribe?

One is a bunch of cunning runts.

What is the difference between a pack of pygmies and a girls track team?

The pack of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.

Trigger Jokes More Trigger Jokes

Why don't feminists carry handguns?

Because of the triggers. I'm sorry

What do you call a bunch of liberals protesting the second amendment?

Triggered