Tumblr Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

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Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

What is Tumblr's least favourite show?

NCIS

What is the biggest gender on Tumblr?

Whale-Kin

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

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What's the name of the car of a hipster batman?

Tumblr.

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

How are 4chan and Tumblr alike?

They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.

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Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix a boxer and cocaine?

A punchline

What do you get when you chop up a fruit and mix it with vegetables?

I don't know but it was hard as hell stealing thier wheelchairs with pieces of Richard Simmons tripping me up.

Square Jokes More Square Jokes

What did the square say to the blob?

You're out of shape.

Why are manholes round?

They figured three squares was enough for the sewers to handle.

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

Why is your face all scratched ?

My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses !

What do ya call a bunch of guys breaking into a music store and helping themselves to the stringed instruments?

A: Luters.

Fence Jokes More Fence Jokes

Why are there fences around cemeteries?

people are dying to get in.

Why are there fences around graveyards/cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in!

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What did one device say to the other?

A: Are you syncing what I"m syncing

What's the difference between a USB and the USA?

One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard.

Nap Kin Jokes More Nap Kin Jokes

What is in common between a napkin and a person?

If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin.

What do you call a tired tumblrina?

A nap-kin.

Quantum Jokes More Quantum Jokes

What do you call a quantum physicist's hair style?

Schrdinger's cut

Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists?

They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. explanation(http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slitexperiment)

Lube Jokes More Lube Jokes

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...