Tumblr Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

What is Tumblr's least favourite show?

NCIS

What is the biggest gender on Tumblr?

Whale-Kin

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the name of the car of a hipster batman?

Tumblr.

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

How are 4chan and Tumblr alike?

They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.

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Tire Jokes More Tire Jokes

What do you with 365 used rubbers?

Turn it into a tire and call it a goodyear.

How many psychologists does it take to change a tire?

Just one, but first the tire really has to want to change.

Inflate Jokes More Inflate Jokes

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?

A: Inflate it.

Fence Jokes More Fence Jokes

Why do cemeteries have fences around them?

Because people are dying to get in.

Why are there fences around cemeteries?

people are dying to get in.

Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!

Why did the blind man walk into a wall?

Somebody shot his dog

Nap Kin Jokes More Nap Kin Jokes

What do you call a tired tumblrina?

A nap-kin.

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

Trigger Jokes More Trigger Jokes

What do you kiss on a Mexican dish that will trigger the end of the world?

El Taco Lips.

Why are feminists so good at Street Fighter V?

Because they are always V-triggered

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What drug did the mathematician do?

Math Salts.

What drug problem?

We get drugs pretty easily!"

Fish Market Jokes More Fish Market Jokes

What did the blindman say when he walked by the fish market?

Helllllllloooooo (insert your mother's/wife's/sister's/grandmother's name here.)

What did the blind man say when he arrived at the fish market?

Hello, ladies."