Tumblr Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

What is Tumblr's least favourite show?

NCIS

What is the biggest gender on Tumblr?

Whale-Kin

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What's the name of the car of a hipster batman?

Tumblr.

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

How are 4chan and Tumblr alike?

They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.

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Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead?

A Lou-ouija board.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

What do you get when cross the Dukes of Hazzard car with K.I.T.T. ?

General Lee speaking.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What, over in ten seconds?

Girl: "No, eight black men and a gun."

What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day?

SINGLE

Fence Jokes More Fence Jokes

What's brown and runs around your garden?

Your fence.

How big do you suppose that fence is?

I reckon that fence is around a yard."

Pumpkin Jokes More Pumpkin Jokes

What's with the knives?

Wait, stop. Please stop!" - pumpkin

What do stupid kids do at Halloween?

They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins.

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man?

A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)

What do you get when you mix a rhinoceros with an elephant?

Elephino...

Lube Jokes More Lube Jokes

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

Nap Kin Jokes More Nap Kin Jokes

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What is in common between a napkin and a person?

If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin.