Tumblr Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

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Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

What is Tumblr's least favourite show?

NCIS

What is the biggest gender on Tumblr?

Whale-Kin

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

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What's the name of the car of a hipster batman?

Tumblr.

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

How are 4chan and Tumblr alike?

They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.

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Darth Vader Jokes More Darth Vader Jokes

How do we know that Darth Vader is American?

Because he marches to the Imperial March and not the Metric March

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"

What did the gangster's son tells his dad when he failed his examination?

Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I told them nothing!!!"

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What do you call the device that keeps an Armenian man safe?

A Serj Protector.

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

Why were a bunch of realist artists offended at a Matisse gallery opening?

They didn't like the public displays of abstraction.

How do you leave a bunch of idiots in suspense?

I'll tell you guys tomorrow

Tumblr User Jokes More Tumblr User Jokes

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

Why do tumblr users make for poor gunmen?

They are afraid of triggers.

Trigger Jokes More Trigger Jokes

What's the difference between a gun and a radical feminist?

A gun only has one trigger.

What's the best thing about banging 28 year olds?

There's 20 of them. don't get triggered, just a joke! Paedophilia is not funny

Nap Kin Jokes More Nap Kin Jokes

What do you call a tired tumblrina?

A nap-kin.

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What's the easiest way to get off an elephant?

I don't know but you should buy it dinner first!

Where does Dracula buy his pencils?

Pennsylvania.