What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

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Tumblr Jokes More Tumblr Jokes

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

Clothe Jokes More Clothe Jokes

Why does it take so long for a nun to get her clothes?

It takes 21 days to make a habit.

Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat?

Because it was clothed.

Dry Jokes More Dry Jokes

What does the Pope use to dry his hands?

Papal towels.

What looks like red paint but is dry?

Dried red paint

Agony Jokes More Agony Jokes

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What happened when a deadly rattle snake bit a witch ?

He died in agony !