Lube Jokes

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

What do blacks and bikes have in common?

They both stop working when you take their chains off. Edit: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was America. By the way, got this from AskReddit.

Grab Jokes More Grab Jokes

How do you stop a ginger from drowning?

You throw him a lifesaver and tell him to grab on to it.

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

What does a piano, tuna, and a bucket of glue have in common?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Don't ask me about the bucket of glue though... I've been stuck there for a while

Corpse Jokes More Corpse Jokes

What's the difference between a corpse and a Chinese baby girl?

5 minutes

Why was everyone saying such kind, loving words to the man?

The man was a corpse being buried forever.

Mortician Jokes More Mortician Jokes

What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse?

A stalemate.

What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.

Pace Jokes More Pace Jokes

What do you do when your girlfriend starts to smoke?

Slow the pace and apply more lube!

What's it called when you try a different flavor of salsa?

A change of pace.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the sailboat start exercising?

It wanted to get into ship-shape. HA!

Why did the pig go in the kitchen?

To start some bacon

Partner Jokes More Partner Jokes

When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?

is unwise, apparently.

What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common?

We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed.